Thursday, August 26, 2010

A little miracle bloom

When I was a child, there was a Passion Flower vine growing all along our backyard fence. I was always fascinated with the unusual flowers. They looked plastic, too thick-petaled and perfect to be real. Occasionally, I'd cut some and float them in a bowl on the kitchen table like Water Lilies. A few weeks ago, upon moving into my new apartment, I saw some Passion Flower vines for sale at the grocery store. I was shocked because I'd never seen them anywhere since I was a kid and I'd actually forgotten they existed.

I'm pinching pennies these days, so I resisted the first urge to buy one. But several days later, I just became certain that I had to have one so I sprang for the $12.99. The poor thing sat on the porch for weeks before I finally got around to shopping for a cheap pot. The vine has these little feelers that wrap around things in a corkscrew manner so I knew I'd need to get something the vine could climb permanently. All the trellises were way too big and expensive so I bought some bamboo stakes and made my own trellis.

Two days ago, I finally got around to planting the vine in its new pot. I gently extended its tendrils up my home-made trellis. I handled every inch of the plant and never saw any sign of a bud, nor did I expect one. The plant was so small, I assumed it would be next year before I saw one of its unusual flowers.

Imagine my amazement today when I noticed a fully opened flower on the vine. It's not the best looking flower, small and a bit spotty, but it's a purple and white Passion Flower just like the ones that grew in my backyard when I was a little girl.

Saturday, August 7, 2010

The Light at the End...

I've been moving for six weeks and I can finally see the light at the end of the tunnel. I can't believe it's gone on this long. It started on the last week of June when Tom and I spent eight long days - including one non-stop, work-through-the night marathon - moving stuff out of our rental home in Superior and into storage and the room I was renting. Then Tom packed the Maxima to the ceiling and drove off to Illinois to stay with his parents.

My room rental wasn't working out from the get-go so I found myself frantically searching for an apartment to rent on my limited budget. I was very fortunate to find a townhome style apartment in a relatively new, low-income housing complex.

Tom and I intended to get everything we owned in one 10 x 15 storage unit. Unfortunately, in the end we had to rent two more 10 x 10 units. By the time Tom left for Illinois, we had cleaned out one of them and the remaining 10 x 10 was filled with items I had to donate, recycle, or sell. Throughout last month, I shuffled things around and eventually got everything into the 10 x 15. Once I got moved into my apartment, I had to start moving items from storage before I had to pay another month. This coming Tuesday is my deadline and I've only got a few items left to sell, give away, or squeeze into my apartment and I will FINALLY be done with the constant shuffling of boxes and furniture. It'll probably take me another week to get everything unpacked and put away, and then I will officially be settled in my new home... and my new life.

Throughout this ordeal, I've embraced my inner Scarlett O'Hara and when the emotions welled up I told myself, "I can't think about that right now. If I do, I'll go crazy. I'll think about that tomorrow." Unfortunately, the stress and grief I've suppressed are now having their way with my body and I'm suffering widespread chronic pain, and numbness in one of my arms/hands. I've had a couple sessions with Dr. Wesley Cavanaugh, a wonderful chiropractor at Foundation Wellness Center in Louisville which helped the knot in my back and 90% of the numbness, but it'll take some work to get my body back to some semblance of normal.

My friends Andy, Fletch, Rob, and Jim have been absolute life-savers, coming to my aid when I needed to move heavy items that I couldn't manage on my own. I don't know what I would have done without them and I owe them far more than the meager meals and beer I had to offer. They've certainly earned some big karma points!

Some new opportunities are opening up and new friends have come into my life, giving me hope that the near future will be brighter. I'm looking forward to having time to focus more on music again and to process the emotions through my art. I need some peace and catharsis to begin to heal my broken heart, shattered dreams, and battered body. I've let go of so much. I hope I've made enough room for something beautiful to arrive.