tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-19521370703827168322024-03-21T17:49:35.154-07:00ExcaligurlTrinity's musings about music, the nebulous nature of truth, the purpose of our existence here on Earth, and the spiritual relevance of a stellar rosemary sage latte. Trinity Demaskhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16489367210315644296noreply@blogger.comBlogger42125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1952137070382716832.post-90308866893970074102017-12-30T20:03:00.000-08:002017-12-30T20:09:39.996-08:00So long, 2017...Wow. So, 2017… It’s been real, as we’d say in the 80s. Not
necessarily real fun, but definitely real. So real it was decidedly <i>unreal</i>
almost every day. Questioning authority is so blasé. Questioning reality is
apparently where it’s at, here in the teens of the 21<sup>st</sup> century. <br />
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But here we are, another milestone passed, and the future
ahead as uncertain as it ever was, though, perhaps now we can be a little more
honest with ourselves. Nothing is promised and anything can happen. </div>
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I feel this uncertainty acutely as I have been out of work
for a month and have no idea once I finally find a job, what changes that will
bring to my life. All I know is, a lot will change, and I’m more aware than
ever that my experience of life is less about what happens and more about how I
respond to it.</div>
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The last year, especially the last six months, has been
life-changing and life-affirming for me in both extraordinary and subtle ways. </div>
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There were a couple events that I can point to that served
to shift my perspective profoundly, but underlying those were dozens, if not
hundreds of moments of connection, truth, beauty, and joy so powerful that I
won’t even attempt a description. Words fail me. But not so completely that I
cannot acknowledge or celebrate my befuddled wonder at these moments of both limitless
expansion and acute focus. Expanding and contracting. In and out. Breath.
Heartbeat. Life.</div>
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I’ve had so many experiences I wanted to capture in my
journal or blog, but then another came… and another… until it became clear that
capturing these thoughts was not nearly as important as being open to the next
one. </div>
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I realized something bigger is happening here. The moments
that moved me were not a story unto themselves, though they felt pretty
important at the time. They were single frames in a film, bits of something
larger and more meaningful that I need to be present for. What that is, I can’t
say now. The story unfolds and until I can begin to see its edges, my attention
must remain on being present for its unfurling. </div>
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I’ve surrendered the fear that I will lose these precious
fragments. If they are truly powerful unto themselves, they will survive in my
memory. Now is not the time to declare their individual worth and meaning. Some
are merely sparks. Others will touch fire to the web being woven and these will
light the way. </div>
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In the meantime, I continue to write <b><a href="http://trinitydemask.com/The%20Greyse%20of%20Iyshyll%20Pt1_Ch1" target="_blank">my novel</a></b> which, it is
now clear to me, is going to be a trilogy. I’m roughly 83,000 words into it and
I think I may be about a third of the way to where the first book will end. If
that sounds like an overwhelming project, I can assure you, it is. But I’m loving
every agonizing word of it.</div>
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I continue to have a somewhat estranged relationship with
music, but I plan to dust off the cobwebs and play at least a few shows in the
coming year. Stay tuned for updates on that. </div>
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Until then, I hope your transition to 2018 goes smoothly and
the new year brings you all manner of precious and joyful manifestations of
beauty.<span style="font-family: "times new roman" , serif; font-size: 12.0pt;"> </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "times new roman" , serif; font-size: 12.0pt;">Wishing you a safe and blessed New Year!</span> </div>
Trinity Demaskhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16489367210315644296noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1952137070382716832.post-63755943079333892942017-08-24T12:19:00.000-07:002017-08-24T12:19:11.242-07:00The Most Amazing Two-and-a-half Minutes of My Life<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiUdCEndcRJq265b-rlTuStWjyeczN3zR8yIgDdIarcTIcTZrJW4ssAGWm6hgkLyaXUYfxXwlJZk-YDaXIS9eF4rq58UTu_SB3dB83G-Ar79T2oydIz6CIJ2Lox9o-K0CwUnswjibynCr0/s1600/Terry%2527s+Eclipse+photo_cropped.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="665" data-original-width="607" height="200" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiUdCEndcRJq265b-rlTuStWjyeczN3zR8yIgDdIarcTIcTZrJW4ssAGWm6hgkLyaXUYfxXwlJZk-YDaXIS9eF4rq58UTu_SB3dB83G-Ar79T2oydIz6CIJ2Lox9o-K0CwUnswjibynCr0/s200/Terry%2527s+Eclipse+photo_cropped.jpg" width="182" /></a></div>
I've been back from my trip to view the total solar eclipse for days now and I'm just starting to feel like I've processed the experience enough to write about it. I waffled back and forth about going into the range of totality for weeks, then once I decided to go I was indecisive about where to go. Driving 200+ miles with hordes of other people to see something that would only last a couple minutes invites a constant question in the back of your mind: Will it be worth the trip?<br />
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Ultimately, I decided to increase the chance that the trip would be worthwhile by choosing a destination that had an unusual attraction; the old "killing two birds with one stone" approach. I set off with my friend Terry sometime around 3:30am on Monday for Alliance, Nebraska, best known for Carhenge, a replica of Stonehenge made of automobiles. (Only in America, right?)<br />
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As we got into Nebraska in the wee hours of the morning, we ran into quite a bit of fog. As the sky began to lighten we found ourselves passing through a mercurial landscape that moved from dense fog to patches of shifting mist wafting across the land like specters. When the sun rose over the Sandhills, the fog began to break apart in roiling, fast-moving clouds above us, revealing patches of blue sky and rays of sunlight over the green hills dotted with sunflowers. Now, I'm a sucker for misty, bucolic landscapes and, as a night-owl, I rarely see the breaking dawn, so that in itself was special. But this was something more than a beautiful morning on the high plains. This section of the drive was so magical, the natural elements so expressive and seemingly enchanted, I was already convinced the trip was worthwhile.<br />
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We stopped to top off the gas tank in Bridgeport and I got to chat with a couple fellow Coloradans while I waited in a fairly substantial line for the restroom. This gas station was the first place we started to notice more people and cars than would have been normal for the area, but calling it "traffic" would be a huge overstatement. We didn't get into any traffic at all, unless you count the last quarter mile as folks slowed down to pick their parking field around Carhenge. We saw several properties asking $50 for parking, but found that the field directly north of Carhenge (perhaps still part of their property) was $30 so we pulled in there.<br />
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We parked on the crest of the hill and had a very short walk to a prime viewing spot overlooking the pastures to the east. I could hardly believe our good fortune. Other than a missed turn that took us out of town a couple miles before we realized our mistake, we arrived without incident with plenty of time to spare, found a close place to park, and claimed a great location to set up Terry's tripod so he could film the eclipse. This sort of effortlessness would usually lead me to feel like the other shoe was going to drop, but I was in such a relaxed-yet-expectant mood that it didn't even occur to me to question it. Of course, I'd also been up all night and that might have re-calibrated my stress meter a bit. <br />
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A short cheer went up as the eclipse started, but that excitement faded pretty quickly as we waited for the real show to begin. I don't think the light changed significantly until it was at 75% or so. Everything was cast in a diffuse, golden light. It wasn't like darkness was falling, it was more like sunlight burning through coastal fog. We had been watching individual cumulus clouds march across the sky in a little herd for some time. Several passed across the sun, but they'd been moving fast. By the time it reached totality, the wind had picked up and the last few stragglers had moved on, leaving the sun unobstructed from our particular vantage point.<br />
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One of reasons I feel compelled to write of this experience is because of the surprising inability of cameras to capture what the human eye sees. Every video I've viewed, including <a href="https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Jybqwr0VoWE&feature=youtu.be" target="_blank">the one Terry shot</a>, doesn't even come close. They all show a white corona around a black moon and equally black sky. Some, like Terry's, show some glowing red spots (flares?). Still, they're nothing I'd describe as particularly awe-inspiring. The landscape looks very dark as well in most videos with the exception of this fantastic <a href="https://www.facebook.com/NPR/videos/2034588726567117/?hc_ref=ARRH1B5cH-Q1wAoie5tleSK65vwM0S-sudg1CC3AY_pPSmFFAvftxq7Nj4U6czVCR5s&pnref=story" target="_blank">360 degree film from NPR</a>. But even it doesn't capture the eclipse itself accurately because if you're not zoomed in on it, it just looks like a full moon. <br />
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I wanted to experience totality because I wanted to see this wonder with the naked eye. Also, I might one day be writing about an eclipse in a future work of fiction and I wanted to truly understand first-hand what it was like so I could depict it correctly. I'm so glad I didn't assume that the event captured on film would be almost as good as being there.<br />
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That said, <a href="https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Jybqwr0VoWE&feature=youtu.be" target="_blank">Terry's video</a> did capture one true element that faithfully carried the essence of the experience. The sound.<br />
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People began to cheer and applaud right before the Bailey's Beads Effect and you can hear their shouts, screams, and exclamations shift from excitement to pure wonder as the corona suddenly burst out from around the moon. It's in that moment when everyone removes their glasses that the power of it hits you.<br />
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It was absolutely the most profoundly beautiful thing I've ever seen.<br />
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The sky glowed a gorgeous cobalt blue. The corona was a shimmering white and the moon itself was so black it looked like a portal had opened in the sky. At one point, the corona appeared to have three wings, one of which was smaller than the other two. Combined with the moon's circle, it looked like an upside down Star Trek insignia. The sun and moon usually seem fixed in the sky, but the glowing filament quality of the corona made the eclipse appear mobile, as if it were hovering.<br />
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I had binoculars on my lap, lens caps off, ready to use. I completely
forgot they were there until it was over. I also forgot to pay particular attention to the stars that might have been visible. However, I did look around at
the landscape and saw sunset in every direction (<a href="https://www.facebook.com/NPR/videos/2034588726567117/?hc_ref=ARRH1B5cH-Q1wAoie5tleSK65vwM0S-sudg1CC3AY_pPSmFFAvftxq7Nj4U6czVCR5s&pnref=story" target="_blank">again, this NPR video captures that pretty accurately</a>). I took a moment to absorb this unusual dusk and it's stunning beauty, searching for the best way to describe the way it felt. A line from the song <i>I Dreamed of Rain</i> came to mind: "...and peace spread over the land." <br />
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From the moment I first glimpsed the eclipse in its totality, I was overcome with emotion. My eyes teared up and the sensation that welled up in my chest felt like I might start sobbing at any moment. But it wasn't that tight feeling that usually accompanies great emotion. It was as if something within me was expanding out. I can't describe it in any other way than to say it felt like utter and complete joy.<br />
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I've heard people talk about looking on their child's face for the first time and feeling a profound sense of awe and wonder. It feels like you might just come apart, like you can't possibly hold all that love in, but somehow you expand to contain it. That's exactly what I felt in this moment.<br />
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I knew what I was looking at. I knew the science behind it. I didn't think the world was coming to an end. I expected to marvel at a fascinating celestial event and leave saying, "That was cool!" I didn't expect to feel so profoundly moved and changed by it. I can't even fathom what shifted. I didn't have some epiphany. I can't say I realized something that has changed the way I'll live my life. The trip itself was a great lesson for me, but that had little to do with the eclipse and was more about taking advantage of opportunities and pushing myself further out of my comfort zone to live life to the fullest. But something happened to me there and I'm not sure I'll ever truly understand it.<br />
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When totality ended, everyone cheered and applauded, only the excitement and giddy awe had been replaced with heartfelt gratitude. (You can hear all the audio nuances better on <a href="https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Jybqwr0VoWE&feature=youtu.be" target="_blank">Terry's video</a> than on the NPR film because we were at a distance from the center of the crowd where the most boisterous folks were.) There was a lot of laughter, too. I turned to Terry and we were both wiping tears from our faces and laughing about how strangely and unexpectedly emotional it was. We didn't talk about it in any detail immediately; it was just too overwhelming to discuss. My guess is that most people had to process it a bit before talking about it because there was so much to absorb.<br />
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We stay seated in our chairs until the entire eclipse ran its course. It almost seemed disrespectful to just pack up and leave while the moon still covered some section of the sun. When it was over, we strolled down the hill to explore the henge.<br />
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I had conversations with a handful of people before the eclipse and a few more afterwards. Everyone I encountered was friendly and in good spirits. I usually hate large gatherings of people because there's always bound to be someone acting like an obnoxious idiot in some manner or another. That was not the case here. Hell, even the porta-potties were nice (as far as those things go). And the first time I went down the hill to use them, I heard a group of guys playing Neil Diamond's <i>Sweet Caroline</i> on a boombox and singing along at the top of their lungs. That was far more surreal than the couple of folks dressed as aliens or the guy in the kangaroo mask wearing mechanics coveralls and spark plug bandoliers across his chest. (I mean, that sort of stuff is expected at a place like Carhenge, right?)<br />
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I think most folks had the same idea we did about avoiding traffic. Rather than head out immediately, we had a nice lunch at a Mexican restaurant in town and started home later in the afternoon. That put us in bumper-to-bumper traffic on a stretch of two-lane highway when we left town, but we weren't in any hurry and the countryside was a pretty distraction from the fact that we were crawling along for miles.<br />
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My only regret is that we didn't stop on the way back to take a picture of the sunset. The sun was huge, glowing a deep orange against a purplish sky, its vivid beauty probably due to smoke from the wildfires out west. I've seen that stunning sort of sunset many times before. It wasn't unusual. But it would have been nice to capture that particular one just as a reminder of the extraordinary day. <br />
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I imagine I'll still be processing this experience for some time. I may never totally understand the mystery of it and why it elicits so much indescribable joy. One thing I do know, though. I'm going to make a serious effort to catch the next one in 2024.<br />
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I think I've just become an Eclipse Chaser.<br />
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<i>Photo by Terry Stinnette.</i> <br />
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<br />Trinity Demaskhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16489367210315644296noreply@blogger.com8tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1952137070382716832.post-58951852457832474142017-05-17T19:07:00.000-07:002017-05-17T19:11:47.126-07:00<div class="MsoNormal">
<b><span style="font-size: large;">WHERE'S TRINITY?</span></b><br />
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As many of you may know, I've been on a hiatus from music
for the last year to work on a novel that has been rattling around in my head
for over 25 years. Like my music, my writing doesn't fit squarely in a genre.
My best guess is this tale will be considered epic fantasy though I choose to
call it a "historical re-imagining with supernatural elements." At
this point, it appears the "book" will be a trilogy as it has grown
considerably now that I'm in the thick of it. I guess that's what I get for
letting this world expand in my mind for over half my life. For those of you
who are curious, I'm posting the first chapter for a brief period of time. <b><a href="http://trinitydemask.com/The%20Greyse%20of%20Iyshyll%20Pt1_Ch1" target="_blank">Click here to read it.</a> </b>And yes, there will be a pronunciation guide and a map when it's published. ;-)<br />
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Thoughts?
Feedback? Questions? <a href="mailto:trinity@trinitydemask.com" target="_blank">Feel free to email me by clicking here.</a></div>
<o:p></o:p>Trinity Demaskhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16489367210315644296noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1952137070382716832.post-27987608976350137952015-12-21T15:57:00.000-08:002015-12-21T16:03:12.678-08:00Happy Solstice 2015<br />
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Well, another year has come and gone. I find myself in a particularly reflective space this year. So many ups and downs have left me feeling at times both hopeful and despairing.<br /> <br /> The sands of time shift, and some years it's just a gradual slide in one direction. 2015 was one of those years where it seemed the ground beneath me was shifting in multiple directions at the same time. This kind of year reminds you to not take things for granted, but it can also make you feel unsettled.<br /> <br /> Nature has provided the strongest grounding for me this year. Walking regularly and experiencing the passing of the seasons at a daily pace has been healing and inspiring. In many ways, it's been a return to my childhood and to a powerful connection that I'd let slip away over the years. Reconnecting has been an enormous gift at a time when I've felt most adrift. <br /> <br /> If your year has been equally challenging, I hope you've found a way to connect to your own inner wisdom and strength. With all the suffering, fear, conflict, and confusion in the world, it is even more important for us to take time to breathe and center ourselves in our truth. As the sun is "reborn" and begins its cycle anew (at least from the perspective of us Earthlings), may you experience a reset in your own life; a clean slate to move forward and make a fresh start for the coming year.Trinity Demaskhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16489367210315644296noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1952137070382716832.post-58314351477048137982015-01-24T18:31:00.000-08:002015-01-24T21:23:13.973-08:00The "Elemental" Recording Diary: Demons, Dangers, and Doubts, Oh My!Anyone who knows any kind of artist, particularly performing artists, has probably heard about some of the internal battles we fight, often on a daily basis. Sometimes I think we choose (or more appropriately are chosen by) our art in order to work through a plethora of psychological and emotional barriers in this lifetime. We express for the collective, we push boundaries, we blaze trails, and speak truths. And sometimes it feels like we're society's guinea pigs in the process. We color outside the lines and then wait to see if we'll be applauded or smacked down for it. Those who can't risk the thought of being judged either way keep within the lines and stay silent. I did that... for thirty-three years.<br />
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This drive to express opens us up to everything within and outside of ourselves that challenges what we're expressing or even our authority to express it. I won't go into all the ways that we churn ourselves into tangled masses of compromised humanity, but suffice it to say we're usually functioning in a complicated swirl of conflicting dichotomies. I want to be heard/seen... Oh God, please don't look at me... I'm not good enough... I'm better than THAT guy, why's he getting all the attention?... I have a gift and it's my purpose in life to share it... Who cares, anyway? You're just one of a multitude of people who think what they have to say is important and nobody wants to hear it... This is the greatest thing I've ever created... This is utter crap!... and on it goes.<br />
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In other words, artists are a little crazy. But then aren't we all? Some of us just recognize and admit to it. I've fought the fight, am fighting the fight, and will continue to fight all those little demons inside my head. I've done this long enough to know that once one is vanquished, another rises to take its place. That's life. You learn a lesson or heal some part of yourself and another opportunity for more learning/healing comes along. Nature abhors a vacuum.<br />
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That said, it's understandable that recording is fraught with lots of new demons, some old ones you just haven't seen in awhile, and loads of doubt. You have many decisions to make and many will take you down a different path. Each song is a blank canvas and every action a brush stroke or color that shapes the outcome of the final piece. There are the artistic decisions you make in the moments you're performing, too. Should I hold that note a little longer? Should I sing that phrase softer? Did I infuse enough emotion into that line?<br />
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Sure, you can record take after take trying to capture all the possibilities, but then you have an engineer who is either greatly annoyed or nodding off. You'll also have so many takes to listen to that you create a whole new hell for yourself later when you have to wade through them. I am guilty of this. I admit it. And I get "bark mark" quite easily (that mark on your forehead from having it pressed so hard against the tree that you can't see the forest). Being detail-oriented is a strength in moderation, but can be crippling if one focuses too closely. And baby, I can get microscopic on your ass!<br />
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Fortunately, Sean knows me well enough to know that I develop "bark mark" quite easily and need to be pulled back from the tree on occasion. He's patient, but he's also not afraid to step in and remind me when I'm taking things too seriously.<br />
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It's funny that even with our ability to comp takes so I don't need to do one solid, "perfect" performance, there's still this feeling of being on an Olympic high-dive board about to take the plunge every time that little red "record" light comes on. Performance anxiety at its worst because there's absolutely no reason to have it. As Sean so wisely reminded me, "you know that's all in your head, right?"<br />
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That said, you do need to be in the right head space. The question is, what is the right head space? It can be different for different songs or on different days. Do I just relax and pretend I'm not recording this? Do I focus hard on technique or achieving the right level of energy? Do I really put myself in the emotional space of the song? <br />
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Last week, I found myself singing to a piece of insulation in the ceiling that in the dim "mood lighting" in Sean's basement, looked like the head of a little squirrel. My mind was totally distracted by this imaginary critter -- how light and shadow transformed this material into something that wasn't really there, how it wouldn't look like that from any other angle, how I'm one of those people (to quote a line from Victoria Woodworth's "Cross Upon A Cord") who is always "seeing faces in the paint" -- and that last thought caused me to laugh out loud in the middle of the song.<br />
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It wasn't until I was headed home that night that I realized how different these recording sessions have been from my past sessions with "Crucible" and "Venus In Retrograde." Perhaps it's just experience or an example of how much I've changed over the last five years... probably a bit of both.<br />
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I still have my tendency to be a perfectionist and get "bark mark," but I also find it easier to step out of that space and laugh at myself. I don't take things as seriously. But I also discovered that I'm playing and singing A LOT easier than I did in the past. There's an effortlessness that I haven't felt since before my vocal surgery and that I've NEVER felt when recording. The best way to describe it is that I'm not trying to "do" anything, I'm just "being."<br />
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I hope this feeling of effortlessness continues throughout this project. There are plenty of elements that are anything but effortless, so having the performance element come easy is a blessing.<br />
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<br />Trinity Demaskhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16489367210315644296noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1952137070382716832.post-1871331004716758672014-12-29T12:07:00.000-08:002014-12-29T22:42:17.740-08:00The "Elemental" Recording Diary: Session 1In my last blog post, I explained why I've always done multitrack recording up until this point. Given the major budget restrictions on this CD (as of this date I've raised <a href="http://www.fundly.com/trinitydemask" target="_blank">$2,000 of my $15,000 goal</a>), I'm trying to move forward in the most efficient and inexpensive way possible.<br />
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I don't have a regular band these days as I'm generally performing solo, but I do play most Sundays with a band at <a href="http://livingwaterunity.org/" target="_blank">Living Water Spiritual Community</a>, and these guys are amazingly talented. It's my privilege to play with two of Denver's finest jazz musicians: <a href="http://dougroche.com/" target="_blank">Doug Roche</a> (piano) and Don Grove (drums). Rounding out the band is bluesman Clarence Johnsen (bass). Combined with my folk/Americana, it's an interesting combination of genres and the cover tunes we play together range from jazz to rock and bluegrass to pop. And of course, we play many of my songs, including much of the new material I'm recording. I'm very fortunate to have these three signed on to play on "Elemental." There will be other folks lending their talents as well, but Doug, Don, and Clarence are the foundation of this effort. <br />
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In an attempt to save time and money, and to also try to capture more of the live vibe we get when we play together, I opted to try to record Doug, Don, and Clarence playing together rather than multitracking. Doug has an electric piano and a good sounding room, so we miced the drum kit and ran the piano and bass direct (meaning they weren't amplified so the only sounds the mics were picking up was the drum kit. They played to a scratch track of my vocal and guitar. Odds are I'll want to rerecord the piano tracks using Doug's beautiful Yamaha grand, but that can always be done at a later date. <br />
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Now, there is something that just needs to be stated up front because I'm sure later down the line I will hear folks wondering aloud why everything is taking so long. A lot of it should be self-explanatory if you think about it. If you record for four hours, it'll take at least four hours to listen to and evaluate that which you've recorded. And if you need to listen to several things multiple times to compare and contrast to make your final decision, it takes much longer.<br />
<br />
However, there is another reason things can take a lot of time. Musicians have many challenges, not least of which is a pretty mundane, yet often thoroughly vexing necessity: scheduling. You've heard of herding cats? Sometimes scheduling five musicians for a rehearsal or recording session is equivalent to herding parakeets. In the case of our first recording session as a band, it wasn't quite the nightmarish activity I've experienced in the past, but it took some work. So, you can imagine my disappointment when I heard that Don, the drummer, had come down with a nasty virus two days before the session.<br />
<br />
When the day rolled around, Don surprisingly felt up to the task and we gathered at Doug's house and set ourselves to the laborious task of setting everything up. Micing a drum kit takes a good deal of time, as does setting up all the recording gear, getting headphone mixes where everyone wants them, and troubleshooting various technical problems that pop up (and believe me, there is almost always some gremlin who rears his ugly little head). When recording outside the studio, it's always best to bring just about every gadget you own, because you'll wind up needing some cable, adapter, or widget that you never expected to need when a problem arises and you have to create a work-around. Recording musicians have to be creative on many levels. ;-)<br />
<br />
There was also a lot of discussion to be had about what everyone should play on each song and when. I often have very strong ideas about songs or sections of songs. These are things that I just "hear" and have heard since I wrote the song. But there are a lot of abstract or vague descriptions I have about the vibe of the song and not any sort of specific instrumental direction (i.e., dark and sparse here, really driving there, something ethereal and light, etc.). And worse, I often have several different versions with different instrumentation playing in my head. I know from experience, that I can't create exactly what I'm hearing in my head, but if I can convey it well enough to the right musicians, if I can point them in the right direction, they will take off with it. When this happens, what they create is a glorious surprise that just happens to be what I had in mind... and then some.<br />
<br />
What I loved about working with the guys in this live environment was that it wasn't just me, one musician, and the engineer there focusing on one instrument's part of the song. All of us had input and ideas about what each other was doing and that creativity tends to feed on itself. One person's playing influenced and informed another's playing. It became a group effort and it's exciting to be in the midst of that energy. The song becomes more of a true musical conversation.<br />
<br />
The first session was about seven hours which included a dinner break to scarf the quintessential recording meal: pizza, of course. We managed to get through five songs (woohoo!), but that was a bit too much for Don and he had a relapse of his cold/flu bug for the next few days (sorry Don!). I haven't yet heard what we recorded, but my gut feeling is that we definitely captured some good stuff. There were some really beautiful moments that I remember marveling at in the moment they were played.<br />
<br />
There were some hilarious moments, too, that unfortunately weren't recorded. It won't be nearly as funny in the retelling, but at one point late in the session, Don came in too early on a drum fill. You kind of had to be there, but it was a big, bombastic fill at an entirely inappropriate moment and we all were in stitches. I was laughing so hard I couldn't stop. I was doubled over on the floor and Clarence kept saying, "you broke Trinity!" to Don. I honestly have not laughed that hard in over a year. <br />
<br />
As I'm finishing this up, I just got word from Sean that he's sending me files from that session to listen to so I'd better grab the headphones and get to it! Stay tuned...Trinity Demaskhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16489367210315644296noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1952137070382716832.post-61880157465165732162014-12-17T20:43:00.000-08:002014-12-29T22:43:58.070-08:00Multitrack Recording 101It's official. The recording of "Elemental" has begun. I'm nowhere near my funding goal, but I'm moving forward with the money I have and hoping I eventually gain enough support to finish it. <i>(To become involved in the making of this CD visit <a href="http://www.fundly.com/trinitydemask" target="_blank">www.fundly.com/trinitydemask</a> and I will be eternally grateful!)</i><b><i></i></b><br />
<b><i><br /></i></b>
I realize there are a lot of folks out there who have no idea how the recording process works, so I'm going to blog about it to educate those who are curious and to capture the journey of this particular project.<br />
<br />
While some bands still go into a studio to record together to capture their songs as they are played live, many (if not most) do what is called multitracking. To multitrack is to lay down one instrument at a time. If one records the instruments at the same time, each instrument needs to be miced and isolated (or relatively isolated) from the other instruments, otherwise the mics pick up the other instruments (we call this "bleed"). If there are any mistakes on one instrument, it's harder to fix them if they are picked up on the other mics. Also, it can be harder to EQ the instruments individually if there's too much bleed.<br />
<br />
I've always multitracked because I've never had the budget to go into a pro studio where each instrument can be recorded in a separate sound-proof space. Also, in the past my musical partner Tom was playing more than one
instrument and unfortunately, we never found a way to clone him. Thanks to the availability of home recording gear and lots of moving blankets to deaden the space (my "fort-building" skills from childhood came in handy) I've recorded at home, in the drummer's basement, and even in a Sunday school room in a church. If you have the know-how, the right equipment (or good make-shift equipment), persistence, creativity, discernment, resourcefulness, a boatload of patience, and a quiet space, you can make a professional-quality recording anywhere.<br />
<br />
So, how does this work? Since each musician will be recording to something that is recorded and there won't be any cues, you typically want to record to a click track. This is a metronome track (or in my case, a really basic drum machine track because I can't play to a metronome). I choose the exact tempo for the song, which is often something I agonize over since it's going to be "set in stone," then I record myself singing and playing guitar to that click track. This recording is called a scratch track and it's really just a blueprint used to build the song.<br />
<br />
The first "real" track I capture is the drum track (if there's going to be drums on the song) since it is the rhythmic foundation the rest of the song will be built on. The drummer records to the scratch track. Then I record the bass, then my rhythm guitar. At this point, I can record lead instruments (guitar, piano, cello, etc.) or my vocal tracks. When I record the vocals, I record to the drum, bass, and guitar tracks that have been laid down and the scratch track is tossed out (scratched - hence the name). <br />
<br />
Musicians generally record multiple takes of a song and whichever track is deemed best is used. Tracks can also be comped (composited), which means that you can splice together the good pieces from multiple takes. For instance, if you record two takes and you flubbed a note or a strum was a little late on the first one, you can replace the section with the mistake using that section from the second take. Sometimes this can be tricky depending on the instrument and what it's doing at the time, but a good engineer who knows his software can make it happen pretty easily unless the sound quality is too different between the two takes (for instance, if the instrument was farther away from the mic on one take or the musician was playing it very differently and the sound quality of the takes doesn't match).<br />
<br />
So, that said, I am multitracking "Elemental" as I have always done. Except when I'm not...<br />
<br />
Yesterday, we (<a href="http://www.reverbnation.com/seangill" target="_blank">Sean Gill</a>, my patient engineer/sounding board/reality-checker) took the studio on the road to Doug Roche's house to record drums, bass, and piano in a "live" environment. It was a first for me and definitely much more fun than recording one person at a time. More about that in my next posting. Stay tuned...<br />
<br />
If anyone has any questions about the process, the songs, or anything related to this project please post it and I'll be happy to answer it for you in my next posting.Trinity Demaskhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16489367210315644296noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1952137070382716832.post-11598956122255784762014-08-12T22:53:00.000-07:002014-08-12T22:59:50.927-07:00A Worthy HostA friend of mine committed suicide on June 30, 2014. When I heard the news, I wrote down my thoughts with the intention of capturing something I might craft into a poem or essay to help me process the riot of emotions I felt. I haven't touched it since, until today. Robin Williams' death reminded me of that unfinished work, so I vowed not to let another day pass before I wrapped up my thoughts and feelings about the act of suicide and the legacy it leaves. <br />
<br />
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~<br />
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</xml><![endif]--><b>A WORTHY HOST</b><br />
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<b>by Trinity Demask </b></div>
<br />
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My friend killed herself. </div>
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<br /></div>
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Her daughter called to tell me, to utter, “she took her
life” in a practical, cordial tone that broke like waves on the rocky shore of
those four words. In that moment, I became an unwitting participant in a thoughtless,
invisibly violent act no child should be asked to endure. All the disbelieving
questions died in my throat. I could not ask them of this woman who had been so
cruelly drafted to bear and spread this toxic burden.</div>
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<br /></div>
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My friend undoubtedly had not considered the resiliency of
her pain. She sought to escape it, diving into that gaping unknown where
nothing could follow. In her dash for freedom she unleashed this plague upon
all who loved her, binding her agony to their own, propagating a new suffering fresh
in its virility and ancient in its will to survive; a parasite of misery
perpetually seeking a worthy host to spread its seed anew.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
I inherited this infection. The strain passed from my mother
whose emotional firmament is fickle and flighty as the child she’d been when
her father bequeathed his agony to his wife and four daughters. I carry in my
mind two images of him, neither first-hand. My mother possessed only a single
washed-out photo of a squinting, pinched-faced man in a gray fedora. </div>
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<br /></div>
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The other image I hold contains no face, only work boots
swinging just above the reach of the basement’s dirt floor, an overturned
bottle of liquid courage resting on its side on the cool earth. I imagine his
suffering released, floating heavy in the air, briefly disembodied until it
reached the nostrils of my grandmother whose maternal intuition stopped my
mother from descending the stairs.</div>
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<br /></div>
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And so it was my strong, Midwestern, no-nonsense grandma who
found him – she who had already borne the loss of two children and in that
private torment had made acquaintance with the rising waters of despair and had
learned to tread them quiet and steady – it was she who discovered her
husband’s failed attempt to swing above those waters from a thick rope. And
still, after all that grief and the hardship that lay ahead, she arose from
that basement stoic and uncompromising in her will to survive: an unworthy
host. </div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
My mother hosted her share with a willful dissociation that
kept the contagion’s touch at bay even as it crippled her ability to love and
mother with any true connection. She passed it to me without instruction or
explanation, a mark on my cellular memory like a smallpox inoculation scar for
which I have no conscious recollection. Its ownership, however faint, serves as
a warning against the spread of this engulfing despair, an unspoken pact to
contain it within until it can be carried naturally, honorably into darkness.</div>
Trinity Demaskhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16489367210315644296noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1952137070382716832.post-87357543800254604042014-02-18T16:12:00.001-08:002014-02-18T16:21:38.742-08:00Never Underestimate Your Ability to Make Someone's Day<!--[if gte mso 9]><xml>
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</xml><![endif]--><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-size: 12.0pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-bidi-language: AR-SA; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-language: EN-US;">Never underestimate your ability to make someone's day, even a complete stranger. </span><br />
<br />
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-size: 12.0pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-bidi-language: AR-SA; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-language: EN-US;">Case in point: I was recently chosen by the
U.S. Census Bureau for a Consumer Expenditure Survey, which is how they obtain data to update the Consumer Price Index (yeah, sounds
like fun, don't it?). A field representative came to my house to conduct the hour-long survey. She will come back once each quarter for the next five quarters to conduct more surveys to document my spending.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-size: 12.0pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-bidi-language: AR-SA; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-language: EN-US;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-size: 12.0pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-bidi-language: AR-SA; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-language: EN-US;">The field rep was a woman (I'm keeping this anonymous out of respect for her privacy) I would estimate to be in her mid to late 60s and she clearly had some health issues because she used a cane and seemed to have limited mobility in general. She was very friendly and as a self-described "people person," it was clear she really enjoyed her work. She has been working for the bureau for several years and I found her to be quite interesting because she was so gregarious, but at the same time maintained the professionalism of the bureaucrat. </span><br />
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-size: 12.0pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-bidi-language: AR-SA; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-language: EN-US;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-size: 12.0pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-bidi-language: AR-SA; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-language: EN-US;">We completed the survey, made an appointment for the next one, and she went on her way. Today, I get a handwritten card (yes, you heard me, I said hand-freakin'-written) in the mail with the U.S. Department of Commerce, Bureau of the Census seal on it. She wrote:</span><br />
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-size: 12.0pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-bidi-language: AR-SA; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-language: EN-US;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-size: 12.0pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-bidi-language: AR-SA; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-language: EN-US;">"Dear Trinity,</span><br />
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-size: 12.0pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-bidi-language: AR-SA; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-language: EN-US;"> I want to thank you for participating in the CPI survey. Your information is a valuable contribution to statistics.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-size: 12.0pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-bidi-language: AR-SA; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-language: EN-US;"> You made my day.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-size: 12.0pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-bidi-language: AR-SA; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-language: EN-US;"> Wish you well and see you in May.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-size: 12.0pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-bidi-language: AR-SA; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-language: EN-US;">Respectfully, (signature)" </span><br />
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-size: 12.0pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-bidi-language: AR-SA; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-language: EN-US;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-size: 12.0pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-bidi-language: AR-SA; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-language: EN-US;">Maybe it's policy to send handwritten cards to thank participants in order to ensure their cooperation in the future. After all, a lot of people would find this to be an inconvenience, or might even be freaked out by having a government employee come to their home to ask them questions about how they've spent their money over the course of a particular period. </span><br />
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-size: 12.0pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-bidi-language: AR-SA; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-language: EN-US;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-size: 12.0pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-bidi-language: AR-SA; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-language: EN-US;">But I don't think she's directed by the agency to tell someone they "made her day." Did I really do something special? Was it because I understood what a lousy job that might be at times and I let her know that I was happy to participate. Was is because I was hospitable and offered her a glass of water when she arrived? Or does she write that on everyone's card to build a rapport to help ensure that they won't feel quite so inconvenienced next time?</span><br />
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-size: 12.0pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-bidi-language: AR-SA; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-language: EN-US;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-size: 12.0pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-bidi-language: AR-SA; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-language: EN-US;">Did I really make her day? I can tell you one thing, with this card she made mine.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-size: 12.0pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-bidi-language: AR-SA; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-language: EN-US;"><br /></span>Trinity Demaskhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16489367210315644296noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1952137070382716832.post-53068281068595538002013-08-25T16:51:00.002-07:002013-08-26T20:29:11.716-07:00What It Really Means to be Vulnerable<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgnTCIihQWhQaeYp-GtxGzqo-R2iPWHDY6yEySv4FbNbPah1L-8si1KY4upLec0mW9tzX_lsIIrsTLh-tKFdDXJToh_Mj4n1THku7E5YCu2H6-__dYKPMfStk9x6fpwZwwY5xG25jYT5Mc/s1600/Dandelion.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgnTCIihQWhQaeYp-GtxGzqo-R2iPWHDY6yEySv4FbNbPah1L-8si1KY4upLec0mW9tzX_lsIIrsTLh-tKFdDXJToh_Mj4n1THku7E5YCu2H6-__dYKPMfStk9x6fpwZwwY5xG25jYT5Mc/s320/Dandelion.jpg" width="254" /></a></div>
<i><b>Vulnerable: susceptible to physical or emotional attack or harm.</b></i><br />
<br />
Over the years, many people have commented that one of my strengths as a performer is that I'm so vulnerable it gives the audience an opportunity to access their own vulnerability. I help them to feel and process emotions they otherwise avoid or keep bottled up. I've been pondering that for quite some time now because that word -- vulnerable -- keeps coming up for me. Usually it's referred to as a strength, which goes against its very definition. Over the last few years I have opened up more and more to the point where I feel this unusual sense of power when I am being vulnerable. I don't feel weak. I feel bulletproof. <br />
<br />
A year or so ago, a friend who had recently been diagnosed with cancer said in casual conversation that I am the bravest person she knows. That floored me, and triggered something deep in me that reduced me to tears. What on Earth could someone with bigger, scarier problems than I have see in me that would lead them to say something like that? I'm not brave, I'm terrified every day. I'm constantly putting myself in situations that are uncomfortable for me. I force myself through the discomfort because what I want is on the other side.<br />
<br />
A-ha... Isn't that the definition of bravery, to face your fears, to put yourself in uncomfortable situations because you know you must in order to act with integrity or to follow your dreams?<br />
<br />
She explained that I don't let anything get in the way of what I want. I don't write myself off. I show up. I just keep putting one foot in front of the other, even when I'm afraid... especially when I'm afraid. I had never considered this, and certainly never thought of myself as courageous. <br />
<br />
After the Sandy Hook shootings, I saw a powerful interview with the mother of one of the children who was killed. She glowed with love and pride as she spoke of her child and her voice held so much power and certainty. It was so unusual to see someone who had suffered something so unspeakable relating their feelings in a way that was, for lack of a better word, empowering. Then she said something that struck me personally. I'm paraphrasing here since it's obviously been awhile since I saw the interview, but this is the gist of what she expressed. She said when you experience a loss so great, you gain a kind of fearlessness. You can't be hurt any more than you already are. You have nothing more to lose and there is a freedom in that. <br />
<br />
My losses have not been so great, but they have taken me close enough to the bottom to feel the fearlessness that comes from the rawness of being laid open by grief. I've even written a song about that experience, <i>Phoenix (Sleep Without Dreams)</i>. There's no weakness there. You have felt such hurt that you are amazed that you are still alive. For better or worse, you feel invincible. All the petty fears that loomed so large before your loss are forgotten. There is nothing left to be afraid of. <br />
<br />
I have tried to explain this epiphany to several people and it seems the ones who really understand it are those who have faced loss themselves. We have talked of Joseph Campbell and the Hero's Journey, of the metaphorical death and rebirth in the cycle of our journeys. It is a personal redemption as we process our losses, shed the trappings of the world that no longer hold power over us, and attune to our inner strength. Letting ourselves be laid bare and vulnerable realigns us with our authentic selves and our soul's purpose.<br />
<br />
So, just as I've finally come to my own understanding of what it really means to be vulnerable, I hear an <a href="http://www.npr.org/2013/08/23/174033560/can-we-gain-strength-from-shame" target="_blank">interview with Bren<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-size: 12.0pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-bidi-language: AR-SA; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-language: EN-US;">é</span> Brown, a research professor at the University of Houston Graduate College of Social Work, on the TED Radio Hour on NPR</a><!--[if gte mso 9]><xml>
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</xml><![endif]-->. Some of her quotes that grabbed me:<br />
<br />
<ul>
<li>Vulnerability is not weakness.</li>
<li>Vulnerability is our most accurate measure of courage.</li>
<li>Embedded in real vulnerability is an honest raw bid for connection.</li>
<li>You cannot selectively numb. When we numb vulnerability, we numb joy, gratitude, and happiness.</li>
<li>Vulnerability is the birthplace of innovation, creativity, and change.</li>
</ul>
In her second TED Talk, Bren<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-size: 12.0pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-bidi-language: AR-SA; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-language: EN-US;">é ties vulnerability to shame and our fear that if others see us as we truly are, we will be found unworthy and unlovable. We will face disconnection from others, which is the most terrifying fear we possess as social beings who rely on connection for our very survival. </span><br />
<br />
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-size: 12.0pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-bidi-language: AR-SA; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-language: EN-US;">I have discovered over the course of the last few years that being authentic and expressing my own vulnerability is a means for me to really experience my worthiness. I'm afraid when I open myself up, I will be be found lacking and will be abandoned. But that has not been my experience. My experience has been that when I am authentic others embrace me and they open up, too. And those few who do abandon me are replaced exponentially by those who recognize themselves in my struggles. I have become part of a support network of "the Whole-Hearted," as Bren</span><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-size: 12.0pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-bidi-language: AR-SA; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-language: EN-US;"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-size: 12.0pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-bidi-language: AR-SA; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-language: EN-US;">é has named them. The Whole-Hearted are people who feel worthy. The more I challenge that part of me that feels unworthy, the more I call it out and name it, the more worthy I feel and the more whole-hearted I become.</span></span><br />
<br />
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-size: 12.0pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-bidi-language: AR-SA; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-language: EN-US;"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-size: 12.0pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-bidi-language: AR-SA; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-language: EN-US;">Bren</span></span><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-size: 12.0pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-bidi-language: AR-SA; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-language: EN-US;"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-size: 12.0pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-bidi-language: AR-SA; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-language: EN-US;"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-size: 12.0pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-bidi-language: AR-SA; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-language: EN-US;">é found in her research that the Whole-Hearted have the following in common:</span></span></span><br />
<br />
<ul>
<li><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-size: 12.0pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-bidi-language: AR-SA; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-language: EN-US;"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-size: 12.0pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-bidi-language: AR-SA; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-language: EN-US;"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-size: 12.0pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-bidi-language: AR-SA; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-language: EN-US;">They have the courage to be imperfect.</span></span></span></li>
<li><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-size: 12.0pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-bidi-language: AR-SA; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-language: EN-US;"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-size: 12.0pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-bidi-language: AR-SA; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-language: EN-US;"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-size: 12.0pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-bidi-language: AR-SA; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-language: EN-US;">They have the compassion to be kind to themselves and others.</span></span></span></li>
<li><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-size: 12.0pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-bidi-language: AR-SA; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-language: EN-US;"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-size: 12.0pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-bidi-language: AR-SA; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-language: EN-US;"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-size: 12.0pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-bidi-language: AR-SA; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-language: EN-US;">They have connection as a result of authenticity.</span></span></span></li>
<li><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-size: 12.0pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-bidi-language: AR-SA; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-language: EN-US;"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-size: 12.0pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-bidi-language: AR-SA; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-language: EN-US;"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-size: 12.0pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-bidi-language: AR-SA; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-language: EN-US;">They fully embrace vulnerability. They believe that what makes them vulnerable makes them beautiful. </span> </span></span></li>
</ul>
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-size: 12.0pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-bidi-language: AR-SA; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-language: EN-US;"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-size: 12.0pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-bidi-language: AR-SA; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-language: EN-US;"></span></span><br />
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-size: 12.0pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-bidi-language: AR-SA; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-language: EN-US;"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-size: 12.0pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-bidi-language: AR-SA; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-language: EN-US;">If any of this resonates with you or piques your curiosity, I<b><i> </i></b>strongly encourage you to listen to the NPR interview with Bren</span></span><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-size: 12.0pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-bidi-language: AR-SA; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-language: EN-US;"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-size: 12.0pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-bidi-language: AR-SA; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-language: EN-US;"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-size: 12.0pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-bidi-language: AR-SA; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-language: EN-US;">é, and both her TED talks (the most recent is at the top of the page and the earlier one is further below):</span></span></span> <a href="http://www.npr.org/2013/08/23/174033560/can-we-gain-strength-from-shame" target="_blank">http://www.npr.org/2013/08/23/174033560/can-we-gain-strength-from-shame</a> <br />
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I hope you will share your thoughts and insights with me below.Trinity Demaskhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16489367210315644296noreply@blogger.com7tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1952137070382716832.post-81785966834122292642012-10-28T21:51:00.001-07:002012-10-28T21:53:16.222-07:00A New Song for a Community in MourningOn Friday, October 12, 2012, police confirmed that the body found in
Arvada, Colorado was indeed that of Jessica Ridgeway, a 10-year-old girl
who had gone missing the prior week. Several of my friends have been
experiencing grief and loss recently, so the topic which had already
been weighing heavily on my mind of late was brought into stark relief
at this tragic news. After reading through Facebook comments from
friends, particularly those in the metro Denver area, I sat down to work
on the songs that I'd be performing that Sunday at Living Water
Spiritual Community (a Unity church). While rehearsing a cover song I
felt would be appropriate to help my community find healing, I felt
another song trying to come through. It began with the phrase "all that
remains is love," then a chord progression followed and the words began
to pour out.
<br />
<br />
After performing this song on Sunday, it became clear that it was what
many in the community needed to help them grieve the loss of this
beautiful child and their own personal losses. With the help of my
friend Andy Ard, who offered his home studio and expertise, I recorded
the song "All That Remains" and offer it now as an mp3 download at <a href="http://trinitydemask.bandcamp.com/">http://trinitydemask.bandcamp.com</a>. It is my hope that this
song brings some level of peace and healing to those who are
experiencing grief and loss of a loved one. Trinity Demaskhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16489367210315644296noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1952137070382716832.post-16204379157740264072012-08-06T19:57:00.000-07:002012-08-06T19:57:03.932-07:00Attention all writers, songwriters, and poetsThis Wednesday is my next songwriting class and I've decided to tweak
the direction of my teaching. I'd like to focus on the part of
songwriting that I'm passionate about: the lyrics and ideas that we're
trying to express musically. I want to help people dig down to discover
the well of their own authentic self-expression, their own unique voice.<br />
<br />
At
the same time, I recognize that this focus of topic broadens the
audience of people who might benefit from the discussion. Writers,
poets, and people who just wish to better explore their own lives
through journaling will find these ideas and the sharing of others'
journeys useful. To that end, my goal is to open this group to these
other writers (aspiring or otherwise). We'll explore free-writing and
other exercises to prime the pump and I'll introduce you to things that
I've found very inspiring. Think of it less as a class and more of a
workshop/support group meant to inspire your creativity.<br />
<br />
That said, next Wednesday, August 8 at 7:00 pm, I'll be sharing a movie that greatly inspired me. It's a documentary called "<i>Finding Joe</i>."
It is an exploration of Joseph Campbell's study of the hero's journey. I
know, you're thinking, "what on earth does that have to do with
songwriting?" More than you know, especially if you write songs that
tell stories. Even if you're writing about one moment in a story -
falling in love, for example - understanding where that moment fits in
the context of the subject's journey will help you bring it to life with
more depth. Also, we are all living our own hero's journey, and this
film will help you become more aware of your own story (or stories) and
might inspire you to live a more fully realized life by "following your
bliss."<br />
<br />
Space is limited so if you're interested in joining us, please email me at <a href="mailto:trinity@trinitydemask.com">trinity@trinitydemask.com</a>
to RSVP. We meet at a private residence in Westminster so if you
haven't been to a class before, I'll email you directions. The cost of
the class/group will be a suggested $10 donation and it will meet on the second Wednesday of the month (unless otherwise noted on my website). I will still
facilitate the critique group on the fourth Wednesday of the month.
There is no cost for the critique group and it is open to any songwriter
who wants feedback on their songs whether they take the class or not.<br />
<br />
If
you're a poet, songwriter, or writer and need a little inspiration,
direction, or just want to be among a tribe of like-minded creatives, I
hope you'll join us sometime.Trinity Demaskhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16489367210315644296noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1952137070382716832.post-20513086537313123632012-08-01T18:05:00.000-07:002012-08-01T18:07:33.774-07:00Lughnasadh: Let the harvest beginToday, August 1, is Lughnasadh, the first of three Celtic autumn harvest festivals. With the heat and drought much of the US has experienced this summer, it is perhaps a time to more finely focus our gratitude on what we have. In my case, hay for my horse will be hard to come by so I'm already planning to stock up for winter. Feed prices for grain have also increased. However, my small pasture has been resurrected by recent rains (little rain thought it was), so Tori has been able to graze for a while each day, therefore allowing me to feed her less. That little patch of green has been a welcome blessing!<br />
<br />
As I reflect on what I've sown this season, I realize I've cultivated gratitude for my home, my friends, and my abilities (both creative and mundane). I have also returned to a much closer relationship with nature than I've enjoyed in years, spending more time with Tori and other critters that cross my path, and taking time being observant, still, and open with the natural world. I've had the wondrous pleasure of walking amongst literally dozens of large dragonflies, I've taken walks in the rain, I've watched some amazing and colorful cloud formations, and I've experienced kayaking on a lake at sunset. (I love Colorado! Can I get an "amen," brothers and sisters?!) <br />
<br />
In the next couple months, I hope to start some new projects and I'm a little apprehensive about taking these next steps. But when I reflect on all that has come to me this summer, both externally and internally, and when I realize how inspired and excited I am at the prospect of these new doors opening, I feel confident that I'll be reaping a soul-sustaining harvest that I can share with others who hunger as well.<br />
<br />
What seeds have you sown this year? What is coming to fruition for you to harvest this fall? As we begin the autumn months and prepare for the introspection of winter, what will you gather now to sustain you through the darkness?<br />
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<br />Trinity Demaskhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16489367210315644296noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1952137070382716832.post-50890132132005733922012-06-27T22:40:00.001-07:002012-06-27T22:44:23.605-07:00Chipping Away At WorryThe last month has been a very introspective and enlightening time for me. Things are always shifting and changing – sometimes in very turbulent ways – but this period of time has been different. I have been less shaken by the physical changes in my life.<br />
<br />
I’d like to say I’ve learned to trust the Universe and have truly accepted that everything will work out for my best and highest good. Perhaps I have become more trusting. At least I am allowing myself the benefit of the doubt these days and give myself a little credit for growing, which is certainly an improvement. But it’s more likely I have just burned out on maintaining my high stress level. I’m done with the constant worry. My give-a-damn is busted.<br />
<br />
If worrying was an Olympic sport, I’d be a gold medalist. My mind has always jumped ahead to land on the next possible disaster. I’m always looking ahead to the worse case scenario, the logic being that if I plan for that, I’ll be prepared. And being prepared is the closest you can come to being in control when your world falls apart.<br />
<br />
A few months ago, I saw this quote at a coffee shop: <i><b>“Worrying does not empty tomorrow of its troubles, it empties today of its strength.”</b></i> I’ve taken that to heart, finally. It hasn’t been easy. Changing your mind’s habits is a struggle that requires persistence and vigilance. You gain ground in inches, not feet. And sometimes you need to hear the same thing said in different ways over and over again. At some point it all starts to coalesce when the conditions are right and you’re ready to do things differently.<br />
<br />
I think the shift for me came when I realized what I’ve accomplished and survived. I began to look back and give myself credit for the long haul through the wilderness. When I looked ahead at possible obstacles, I found myself thinking, “been there, done that.” I guess when you’ve put out enough fires, you stop worrying about how to handle the next one. You gain confidence in your ability to deal with whatever arises. But you can only truly gain that confidence if you take the time to step out of the fear long enough to objectively assess the road you’ve traveled.<br />
<br />
Don’t be surprised when your ego shows up to coax you back into fear mode to maintain that sense of separation. For me, a little voice arose to question my sudden surrender. Had apathy set in? You’re being lazy! Are you so depressed that you just don’t care anymore? It was a good try, but I found myself enjoying time with friends, spending time nurturing myself with walks and meditation, and gaining interest in creative activities again. Certainly not the behavior of someone who has given up.<br />
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Some doors are opening and others are threatening to close, but I’m not worried about it. I’m focusing on the opportunities ahead and taking time to just breathe. It’s been so long since I’ve had my feet under me. I just want to enjoy being in the eye of the storm for a while, experiencing balance and peace amidst the chaos. I want to absorb that feeling so I can carry it with me. Learning to hold that peace as you walk through life is the answer to everything.Trinity Demaskhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16489367210315644296noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1952137070382716832.post-28760868793890206412012-02-29T20:33:00.007-08:002012-02-29T22:00:01.247-08:00Goodbye DavyToday, I was very saddened to learn of the death of Davy Jones. We take for granted that those people who are woven into the fabric of our childhood will be with us forever. It stuns us when they leave, a cold reminder of the inescapable passage of time, especially when it is sudden and unexpected.<br /><br />I'm not old enough to remember "The Monkees" when it originally aired, but I grew up on the re-runs. One of my siblings had a couple of their albums, which I played constantly and still have in my vinyl collection. There are baby pictures of me, still in a diaper, playing with maracas and beating on a tambourine. At some point, I graduated to a cheap kid's drum kit. My best friend Shawn and I started a band (if you can call two singers playing drums and percussion a band) and dubbed ourselves "The Mustangs." My first attempt at lyric writing came when I rewrote the lyrics to The Monkees theme song to fit my band ("people say we horse around").<br /><br />Sometime in the late 1980's, Shawn and I finally saw The Monkees live at Great America. Though it was just Davy, Micky, and Peter at that time, it still ranks up there as one of the best concert experiences I've had as far as the "feel good" factor. Everyone in the audience was friendly and sharing childhood stories before the show. It felt like a reunion. During "Daydream Believer" we were all swaying and singing along, arms over the shoulders of complete strangers, all united in a moment of joyful nostalgia.<br /><br />I am always perplexed by people who dismiss The Monkees because they were a manufactured band, created by television executives. Their songs were written by others and they weren't allowed to play instruments on the tracks. But they sang the songs, and later wrote, recorded, and performed their own music. There are hundreds of artists I can name today who "only" sing songs that are written and produced by others, and some bands that were formed by outside sources (managers and promoters). Do people ever question whether they are "real" musicians or bands? Hell, in this age of auto-tune, it's impossible to tell if a singer can even carry a tune outside the studio!<br /><br />Regardless of how the songs or the band came about, The Monkees gave us some of the best "feel good" music of the late sixties and no voice in that band could make you smile like Davy's. There was a joyful innocence in his voice mixed with a hint of impishness. And of course, there was that British accent. <br /><br />If I were to put together a CD of tracks that pick me up no matter how low my mood, "Daydream Believer" would be on the list. Thank you for sharing your voice and enthusiasm, Davy. You brought great joy a generation. You will be missed.Trinity Demaskhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16489367210315644296noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1952137070382716832.post-1489251190425982532012-02-27T12:23:00.005-08:002012-02-27T14:23:18.556-08:00Songwriting class begins March 14, 2012On March 14, 2012, I will begin offering a monthly songwriting workshop. Each class will focus on a different aspect of writing songs. The topic of the first class will be how to craft compelling lyrics. Each class will be two hours (7:00 - 9:00 pm) and will fall on the 2nd Wednesday of the month. The workshops are geared toward beginning songwriters or intermediate songwriters looking for new ideas and approaches to spur their creativity. The cost is $20 per class and the location is at a home in Westminster near 88th and Lowell Boulevard. If you'd like to attend, please contact me at <a href="mailto:trinity@trinitydemask.com">trinity@trinitydemask.com</a> and I'll forward the exact address.<br /><br />In addition to the monthly workshop, participants are invited to attend a free monthly song critique group. The purpose of this group is provide constructive feedback on participants' songs in a supportive environment. It also encourages participants to put into practice the techniques and ideas they gained in class, and to share their own thoughts and insights on the work of others. There is no cost for this group. It will be held on the 4th Wednesday of the month (March 28th) at the same location and time (7:00 - 9:00 pm). <br /><br />Space is limited for both the workshop and critique group so if you are interested, please contact me soon. I look forward to sharing my knowledge and insight to help you express yourself through song!Trinity Demaskhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16489367210315644296noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1952137070382716832.post-77837237349464712782011-08-04T19:44:00.000-07:002011-08-04T21:46:18.775-07:00My New Bible: The War of ArtLast Saturday, Andy Ard and Lauren Brombert suggested I check out "The War of Art: Break Through the Blocks and Win Your Inner Creative Battles" by Steven Pressfield. I picked it up Sunday afternoon and just finished it today. <br /><br />This book is an absolute must-read for anyone who feels they are not living their life's purpose, especially artists. It details all the ways the Ego/Resistance keeps us from doing our work and clearly and concisely explains how to overcome this dragon in each of its aspects.<br /><br />Ironically, the act of reading the book can be a manifestation of Resistance if you're doing it to avoid your work. But if you're feeling stuck about how to proceed or need some inspiration, this is the book for you. Hell, even if you are using the book to procrastinate, it's worth the read because it will expose all the ways you are sabotaging yourself. And it won't sugar-coat it, either. Sort of a tough-love therapy session.<br /><br />Get it. Today. You won't regret it. <a href="http://www.stevenpressfield.com/the-war-of-art" target="_blank">www.stevenpressfield.com/the-war-of-art</a><br /><br />Writing is part of my work, and if you look at the last time I blogged you'll see that I've been shamefully negligent. Since I last blogged, I've managed to acquire 8 jobs (in addition to my music career which brings the total to 9) and balancing them has been challenging. Some of them are on a set schedule while others are more irregular which means my income is still pretty inconsistent. <br /><br />Believe it or not, I'm still open to other work if something comes along that fits my skills and my schedule. I would like to offer my organizational, writing, and marketing services to other artists and entrepreneurs who have need of some part-time assistance. I'm also considering offering some workshops. More on that later. <br /><br />If you're curious, here's the run-down on my jobs: 1) my music career, 2) a weekly open mic on Tuesday nights at Forza in Westminster, 3) a weekly open mic on Thursday nights at Highlands Cork & Coffee in Denver, 4) marketing copywriter for National Geographic Maps, 5) bookkeeper for Epiphany Lutheran Church, 6) bookkeeper/office assistant for Colorado Law Enforcement Officers' Association, 7) executive assistant for St. Patrick's Distributing (surgical equipment), 8) soloist (twice a month) at Living Water Unity Church, and 9) host of Stage C Arvada, a community variety show.<br /><br />I'm so grateful for all the opportunities that have come my way, for the friends I've made, and for the courage I found to create jobs for myself where there weren't any. I know there are a lot of people out there struggling as I was (and still am, to some extent) and if I have any words of wisdom to share, they are: have confidence in your strengths and find ways to be of service using your gifts, don't be afraid to ask for help, and think outside your prior job experience. It's very empowering to focus on what you can give rather than what you can receive. Try it and let me know what happens.Trinity Demaskhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16489367210315644296noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1952137070382716832.post-75624759276831341182011-01-27T20:32:00.000-08:002011-01-27T21:42:52.697-08:00How You Can HelpIf you've checked my schedule lately, you'll have noticed that I've got a lot of shows booked. You may be wondering why I'm playing out so much these days. You might assume that all these shows means things are going well financially. But I'll let you in on a little music biz secret. Most of the venues I play do not pay. <br /><br />There was a time when coffeehouses would pay a small amount to their acts or give them a portion of sales, but that's not the environment we're playing in these days. Artists are playing for tips only. Every show is a gamble when it comes to whether or not it will even pay for the gas to get there or the promotional expenses, let alone the time to set up, perform, and tear down.<br /><br />Even when venues do pay, it's a very small amount. The bottom line is, musicians have to have other means of income to pay the bills. Some can piece together a collection of music related jobs (teaching, gigging, CD sales, studio work, etc.), but most need a day job. The artists who can make a living at it in my genre spend their time on the road playing at "listening rooms" like Denver's Swallow Hill Music Association or house concerts.<br /><br />Currently, performing and CD sales are my only income. While I hope to continue to perform and even expand beyond the Denver area to tour other regions this year, I'm in a dire situation financially at the moment. I've been an independent contractor for nine years, but am currently between jobs. It's been shocking to see how difficult the job market is right now. With over twelve years in admin support as an executive assistant, admin assistant, and office manager, I thought I'd surely be able to find something, even if only an entry level secretarial position, but so far that hasn't been the case. <br /><br />So, I'm on my soapbox now to put the word out that I'm looking for work. If you have any leads on full-time, part-time, temporary, or contract work, please contact me at <a href="mailto:trinity@trinitydemask.com">trinity@trinitydemask.com</a>. <br /><br />And for the sake of my fellow musicians who were struggling even before the economy took a nose-dive, I'd like to invite to you read an educational hand-out that I wrote many years ago to educate audiences on what they can do to support independent musicians: <a href="http://trinitydemask.com/howhelp.html">http://trinitydemask.com/howhelp.html</a> <br /><br />One of the ways you can help artists is to hire them for private parties or house concerts. To learn more about house concerts, read my October 2010 blog entitled "Your Living Room Was Made For Live Music."Trinity Demaskhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16489367210315644296noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1952137070382716832.post-6703594850293358752010-11-15T21:35:00.000-08:002010-11-15T23:09:09.763-08:00I love Cedaredge, Colorado!<a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgFCp-wxn8IvsxYaKebiWAy_pwa2UCDmP3kayXM8jhoWDlVZWVVJS7T1i3GiA3h-zM0xkBVpT0PwTA4P78oUx2sCIlqcM9NDgYTSJO0ylKZ7fwXR7dfn8bkNOOQrQm75MfkiodQoRCE_o8/s1600/Cedaredge+HoJo+Marquee_small.jpg"><img style="float:right; margin:0 0 10px 10px;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 188px; height: 200px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgFCp-wxn8IvsxYaKebiWAy_pwa2UCDmP3kayXM8jhoWDlVZWVVJS7T1i3GiA3h-zM0xkBVpT0PwTA4P78oUx2sCIlqcM9NDgYTSJO0ylKZ7fwXR7dfn8bkNOOQrQm75MfkiodQoRCE_o8/s200/Cedaredge+HoJo+Marquee_small.jpg" border="0" alt=""id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5540035961036279922" /></a><br />I can hear you now: "Where the hell is Cedaredge?" <br /><br />Cedaredge is on the western slope at the foot of the Grand Mesa, near the town of Delta, and about an hour from Grand Junction. It's a rather large town for not having a single stop light, but it does have one of the best guitar stores I've ever seen. <a href="http://www.starrsguitars.com" target="_blank">Starr's Guitars</a> is worth the trip alone. Cedaredge is also known for its apples. I had some wonderful cider while there and hope to get back next fall for AppleFest. <br /><br />The best thing about my trip to Cedaredge was the wonderful friends I made there. Ann Knutson was a fantastic MC and the reason I was asked to play in Cedaredge in the first place. She's done quite a job as a one-woman street team! It was an absolute delight getting to know my hosts for the weekend, Shari and Ralph Owens who own the historic <a href="http://www.lovetthousebandb.com" target="_blank">Lovett House Bed & Breakfast</a>. It was like getting to know family I didn't know I had. Shari's cousin John came up from Denver for the show and he was great fun to hang out with. It's strange to have made a new friend who lives in your area at a place so far from home. <br /><br />My partner in crime, Sean Gill, joined me for this little excursion to the west and we got in a day of hiking on the Grand Mesa in addition to a lot of general relaxation. We both desperately needed a vacation so wandering around Cedaredge and Delta was a treat. We had one ugly technology moment when we found ourselves on a spectacular overlook on top of the mesa checking our email on our cell phones. The shame! I just couldn't resist looking to see if I had service. (That's my story and I'm sticking to it!) <br /><br />We had the pleasure of meeting Roy Martin, a fine singer-songwriter/guitarist who opened for me, and his lovely wife Dea. They gave us a tour of their off-the-grid home, an <a href="http://earthship.com" target="_blank">Earthship</a>! I've been interested in Earthships for years, but never saw one in person. Roy and Dea are in the process of adding another room on to their property so we got to see both the finished product and a work in progress. If you're into green building, you simply must check out this design concept which utilizes used tires and adobe-style mud to create unique, earth-friendly homes. <br /><br />It's always amazing and humbling when I play a show in a town I've never even been to before and a bunch of people show up to hear me. What a gift! It's really a joy to be able to share my music with new folks and the reception in Cedaredge was just overwhelming. I was also able to give back to the community since the show was a benefit for the <a href="http://www.cedaredgecolorado.com" target="_blank">Cedaredge Chamber of Commerce</a>. It was a win-win all around. I'm so grateful to Ann and Shari for all their hard work organizing and promoting the show, to David Starr at Starr's Guitars for selling tickets, and to Jim and Candy Barber in Lakewood who started all this by turning Ann on to my music. It's surreal to think that the simple gift of a CD can generate so many wonderful relationships and experiences.<br /><br />Shari did such a great job of promoting the show I don't think I went in one single shop that didn't have a poster with my mug on it. She even arranged to have the concert promoted on the Howard Johnson's sign (the show was NOT at HoJo, it was at the Chapel of the Cross in the Pioneer Museum). How often can you drive through a town for the first time and see you name on the HoJo marquee? Priceless!Trinity Demaskhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16489367210315644296noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1952137070382716832.post-26584974565639588862010-10-05T11:32:00.000-07:002010-10-05T13:51:02.307-07:00Your Living Room Was Made For Live MusicI love house concerts. As a singer-songwriter, I love to perform to room full of people who are there to listen to music. These days, the commercial venues that attract listeners are dwindling. And let's face it, playing to a room full of people who are there to socialize with friends or drown their sorrows in alcohol can be downright demoralizing. <br /><br />As a music lover, I love house concerts because they present the most intimate concert experience. Forget front row seats in a concert hall. There's nothing like having the performer feet away from you, hearing stories they might not share on stage, and being able to talk to them after the show. There's an energy exchange that happens between performers and audiences during a performance. It's invigorating, sometimes transcendental, and never more intimate or memorable than at a house concert. <br /><br />I hosted a house concert once for <a href="http://skinnywhitechick.com" target="_blank">S.J. Tucker</a> when she was traveling through Colorado. Though I've seen S.J. perform many times, this was by far the most memorable, fun show I'd witnessed. I didn't have a very large living room at the time, but with some creative furniture staging we managed to fit 25+ people. There were even some folks who drove up to Superior from Colorado Springs for the show. It was a great fun for all involved.<br /><br />People often ask what it takes to put on a house concert. The most common misconception is that you have to have a very large living room. An average sized room will do, or some other space like a barn or a back yard patio (if the weather is good). Often the artist plays without any amplification, though a small PA is often utilized when the room is very large or the acoustics aren't good. <br /><br />Typically, a suggested donation of $10-20 is set with the proceeds going to the artist. Some hosts provide snacks and drinks while others ask guests to bring a dish to share. Lodging is sometimes provided to the artist if they are a touring act and the host has room to accommodate them.<br /><br />Many folks host regular house concert series and over time build up their own mailing list of guests who attend their events. These established house concert series attract well-known national acts who tour regularly. Other people choose to host house concerts only for artists they know on a rare occasion.<br /><br />Privacy can be a concern for some would-be house concert hosts, but events can be private with only the friends and family of the host invited. If a show is public or open to the artist's mailing list, the address of the event is often not posted and guests get the details when they RSVP. Sometimes hosts wish to present the show for free to their invited guests and they work out a flat fee for the artist to perform. There is no right or wrong way to do it and artists are usually happy to work with you to create an event that meets the needs of all parties involved. <br /><br />With the technology we have today to communicate we can easily feel connected to our friends and family without any face-to-face interaction. And there is so much available on cable TV and the internet, we don't even have to leave the house to entertain ourselves. While there's certainly a lot of benefit to these technologies, there is also a lot we're missing when we don't get out of the house and socialize with the ones we love. A strange sense of loneliness and isolation can creep in no matter how often we call, email, or skype. We are missing that human connection that feeds our souls. <br /><br />Live music events are a great way to spend time with friends, make new ones, and nurture your right-brain/creativity. It can be healing, inspiring, transforming, relaxing, and just plain fun. And, of course, it helps artists make a living sharing their gifts and introduces new fans to their music. Consider bringing that live music magic into your home or attend a house concert to experience it yourself. I invite you to watch this short introduction video to learn more: <a href="http://concertsinyourhome.com" target="_blank">http://concertsinyourhome.com</a><br /><br />If you have any questions or comments to share about your personal house concert experience, please post them or email me at <a href="mailto:trinity@trinitydemask.com">trinity@trinitydemask.com</a>Trinity Demaskhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16489367210315644296noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1952137070382716832.post-17711988191924936592010-08-26T21:17:00.000-07:002010-08-26T21:56:52.022-07:00A little miracle bloom<a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhTaqJPILwQKDtcvZ7FEwcnPRDVJ6-UP8NVoGphGmjxYq2yaoYHnK1uBBMQMJhCJkcPMI1TlB6lowok9Y1eRtS4M92GkpzW28ai_WsTl_jJg-ceDQxKnCRiAkD8_Tcee9AhOQzTlun6-_Y/s1600/PassionFlower_for_web.jpg"><img style="float:left; margin:0 10px 10px 0;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 200px; height: 144px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhTaqJPILwQKDtcvZ7FEwcnPRDVJ6-UP8NVoGphGmjxYq2yaoYHnK1uBBMQMJhCJkcPMI1TlB6lowok9Y1eRtS4M92GkpzW28ai_WsTl_jJg-ceDQxKnCRiAkD8_Tcee9AhOQzTlun6-_Y/s200/PassionFlower_for_web.jpg" border="0" alt=""id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5509948546010168274" /></a><br />When I was a child, there was a Passion Flower vine growing all along our backyard fence. I was always fascinated with the unusual flowers. They looked plastic, too thick-petaled and perfect to be real. Occasionally, I'd cut some and float them in a bowl on the kitchen table like Water Lilies. A few weeks ago, upon moving into my new apartment, I saw some Passion Flower vines for sale at the grocery store. I was shocked because I'd never seen them anywhere since I was a kid and I'd actually forgotten they existed.<br /><br />I'm pinching pennies these days, so I resisted the first urge to buy one. But several days later, I just became certain that I had to have one so I sprang for the $12.99. The poor thing sat on the porch for weeks before I finally got around to shopping for a cheap pot. The vine has these little feelers that wrap around things in a corkscrew manner so I knew I'd need to get something the vine could climb permanently. All the trellises were way too big and expensive so I bought some bamboo stakes and made my own trellis.<br /><br />Two days ago, I finally got around to planting the vine in its new pot. I gently extended its tendrils up my home-made trellis. I handled every inch of the plant and never saw any sign of a bud, nor did I expect one. The plant was so small, I assumed it would be next year before I saw one of its unusual flowers.<br /><br />Imagine my amazement today when I noticed a fully opened flower on the vine. It's not the best looking flower, small and a bit spotty, but it's a purple and white Passion Flower just like the ones that grew in my backyard when I was a little girl.Trinity Demaskhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16489367210315644296noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1952137070382716832.post-49694701454129406312010-08-07T21:47:00.000-07:002010-08-07T22:55:38.795-07:00The Light at the End...I've been moving for six weeks and I can finally see the light at the end of the tunnel. I can't believe it's gone on this long. It started on the last week of June when Tom and I spent eight long days - including one non-stop, work-through-the night marathon - moving stuff out of our rental home in Superior and into storage and the room I was renting. Then Tom packed the Maxima to the ceiling and drove off to Illinois to stay with his parents.<br /><br />My room rental wasn't working out from the get-go so I found myself frantically searching for an apartment to rent on my limited budget. I was very fortunate to find a townhome style apartment in a relatively new, low-income housing complex. <br /><br />Tom and I intended to get everything we owned in one 10 x 15 storage unit. Unfortunately, in the end we had to rent two more 10 x 10 units. By the time Tom left for Illinois, we had cleaned out one of them and the remaining 10 x 10 was filled with items I had to donate, recycle, or sell. Throughout last month, I shuffled things around and eventually got everything into the 10 x 15. Once I got moved into my apartment, I had to start moving items from storage before I had to pay another month. This coming Tuesday is my deadline and I've only got a few items left to sell, give away, or squeeze into my apartment and I will FINALLY be done with the constant shuffling of boxes and furniture. It'll probably take me another week to get everything unpacked and put away, and then I will officially be settled in my new home... and my new life.<br /><br />Throughout this ordeal, I've embraced my inner Scarlett O'Hara and when the emotions welled up I told myself, "I can't think about that right now. If I do, I'll go crazy. I'll think about that tomorrow." Unfortunately, the stress and grief I've suppressed are now having their way with my body and I'm suffering widespread chronic pain, and numbness in one of my arms/hands. I've had a couple sessions with Dr. Wesley Cavanaugh, a wonderful chiropractor at Foundation Wellness Center in Louisville which helped the knot in my back and 90% of the numbness, but it'll take some work to get my body back to some semblance of normal. <br /><br />My friends Andy, Fletch, Rob, and Jim have been absolute life-savers, coming to my aid when I needed to move heavy items that I couldn't manage on my own. I don't know what I would have done without them and I owe them far more than the meager meals and beer I had to offer. They've certainly earned some big karma points!<br /><br />Some new opportunities are opening up and new friends have come into my life, giving me hope that the near future will be brighter. I'm looking forward to having time to focus more on music again and to process the emotions through my art. I need some peace and catharsis to begin to heal my broken heart, shattered dreams, and battered body. I've let go of so much. I hope I've made enough room for something beautiful to arrive.Trinity Demaskhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16489367210315644296noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1952137070382716832.post-69746480524378834802010-06-17T16:16:00.000-07:002010-06-17T17:09:36.407-07:00Two weeks and counting...Today, I sit in my office, a large sunroom, watching a variety of birds at the feeder. Two baby blackbirds were hanging out at the bird bath earlier, waiting patiently for their parents to crack sunflower seeds for them. One couldn't ask for a more beautiful day. The snapdragons are blooming beside the spent irises. The hollyhocks are about three-feet tall now. They won't bloom before I'm gone.<br /><br />In two weeks my life will change. I will be spending my first full day in my new home (a rented room in Lafayette) and Tom and I will no longer be living under the same roof. Perhaps he will be on his way to Illinois at that point. <br /><br />It's strange to ponder, like awaiting a death. My life as I know it is terminal and it will drastically change overnight.<br /><br />Since I last posted, I was offered a room by a new friend and I began working with my first client as a personal assistant. I'm not making a livable wage yet, but other work is on the horizon and I seem to encounter a new opportunity every week. I've booked a decent amount of summer gigs, though nearly all of them are "tips only" gigs. I'll be playing at three different farmers' markets in the coming months, something I haven't done too often in the past. Summer and I will be well-acquainted this year.<br /><br />I finally started going through household items today, separating the things to be packed, the things to be sold, and the things to given away. Everything I own will need to fit in my room or a 10x15 storage space. More importantly, it will have to fit in a way that I can access things. That's going to require some very organized packing. <br /><br />Though it's a lot of work, I'm looking forward to traveling lighter. I've wanted to pare things down for a long time. Tom and I did a decent job of weeding things out three years ago when we moved to Superior, but there are clearly items that I don't need that have been stored in closets, unopened. <br /><br />I am seriously entertaining the idea of finding a truck and camper or tiny RV to travel/live in. I would love to hit the road and tour a bit, but I'll have to see how the next couple months shake out. One thing is for sure: the future is wide open and anything can happen.Trinity Demaskhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16489367210315644296noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1952137070382716832.post-66881728389602512732010-05-13T18:16:00.000-07:002010-05-13T22:32:57.147-07:00Looking for that door"Where one door closes, another's standing open..." - <span style="font-style:italic;">Whatever Is</span><br /><br />I have avoided sharing this news for many months in the hopes that things would change, but unfortunately, that hasn’t been the case. Long story short, on New Years Day, Tom announced that he wants to end our marriage. This is not a mutual decision. I've done everything in my power to convince him to work with me to save our marriage, but he's made up his mind and won't reconsider. <br /><br />Due to our financial circumstances, we weren’t in a position to go our separate ways so we’ve been cohabitating (quite peacefully, ironically) since the beginning of the year. I’ve been focusing on my contract job with Outskirts Press in the hopes that it would pay off at the level I’d been led to believe was possible for my role as a Publishing Consultant. I’ve only recently come to accept that this position is not going to pay anywhere near a liveable wage despite the months of time and effort I’ve put into it.<br /><br />I’ve been booking shows for the summer, but few venues offer any sort of guarantee and in most cases I’ll be playing for tips or a percentage of the door if there’s a cover charge. As much as I’d love to make a living writing and performing music full-time, that is not a viable plan for the near term. I have to look for other work to sustain me.<br /><br />Tom quit his job in April, so we have had to give notice to our landlord that we can no longer afford rent beyond June. As of July 1, I need to have a new place to live, but at the moment I’m unable to even look for a room to rent because I have no consistent income. <br /><br />I realize there are many people out of work now and the pickings are slim, but if you know of any positions available that meet my skill set, please let me know. I have twelve years experience as an executive assistant/office manager and through my nine years of experience as a small business owner I’ve acquired a host of computer and business skills. I would also be interested in any freelance work if you know anyone looking for a personal assistant or virtual assistant for part-time or project work. I’m actually open to a lot of different jobs, not just office work, but that’s where the bulk of my experience is. I’m also really good at cleaning stalls and caring for animals, large and small. Physical labor is fine if the pay is decent. I’m certainly not afraid to get my hands dirty and could use the exercise.<br /><br />I’d also appreciate any referrals for housing if you know of anyone with an inexpensive guest house, apartment, or room to rent in July. Once I find some steady income that’ll be my next search to tackle. I’m going to do my best to not fulfill the old musician stereotype and wind up living down by the river in my van.<br /><br />In the meantime, I hope to see you at one of my upcoming shows this summer. As always, thank you for your support and friendship.Trinity Demaskhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16489367210315644296noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1952137070382716832.post-76306407978901838652010-01-27T15:50:00.000-08:002010-01-27T16:30:01.338-08:00Embracing gratitudeGratitude has never been my strong point. I tend to focus so hard on the future that when I achieve something, I forget to really savor the success. I blow right past like a ski racer, dodging obstacles and rarely extending more than a quick wave and a thank you to people who have assisted me along the way. I'm even worse with the Universe when opportunities arise or things just happen to fall into place for me. I really have to consciously stop myself and force myself to take a breath and feel gratitude.<br /><br />So, on that note, I want to thank all my friends and fans who have been so supportive during this difficult time. Your emails and calls have been SO appreciated. I especially want to thank all the folks who came to the show last Saturday at Swallow Hill. It really meant a lot to me to have your support and I was so happy you were able to share what was a truly magical night for me.<br /><br />I owe Vicky and Andy a huge "thank you" for so many reasons. They've been so kind and supportive with regard to my vocal problem and other personal issues. They are wonderful friends and I'm blessed to have them in my life. They are also damn fine songwriters and it was an honor to share the stage with them. Saturday night was one of the most magical performances of my life. I was more present and able to pour so much more energy into the songs because I was so thankful that I actually had a voice to sing with. Vicky brought tears to my eyes twice with her new song "Tears In A Bottle" and her performance of Andy's song "Will You Tell Her." Andy had me beaming with his interpretation of my song "Here." It was the first time I've ever heard anyone perform one of my songs and I'll never forget it. <br /><br />I also want to thank Dr. King and his staff for ridding me of the vocal polyp and for showing a high level of kindness and understanding. I chose their office because they were in my insurance network (when I thought I still had insurance) and because of their location. I hate choosing healthcare providers based on insurance networks alone with no recommendations from actual humans who have used them, but I was very lucky this time.<br /><br />When I started noticing my vocal trouble I felt like things were coming to a grinding halt for me. Tom was gone for two months, winter set in with a chilly vengeance, and I spent most of my time alone. When I learned of the polyp everything came to a stop and I felt stuck in so many ways. I'm a planner and it was so hard to have to wait, not knowing what I'd be able to do in the future or when. I had to settle into living each day at a time which is wise, but not in my nature. It's been a challenge to stay in the moment, but I think I've achieved a new level of ability to live in the present and to accept that there are times when you just have to let things take their course. Trust that everything will happen as it should and enjoy what and who you have in your life right now.Trinity Demaskhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16489367210315644296noreply@blogger.com0